Hesitantly logging into WordPress for the first time in months, afraid of the stagnation of my absence, what I’ve missed in my favorite blogger’s worlds, and entering the realm of my last posts and mindset, I got a notification.

8 years ago I registered for WordPress. On August 8th, 14 year-old me wakes up on the gray futon that she chose in order to make her room feel bigger. I couldn’t tell you what exactly was going through her head as she created her account and posted for the first time. All the post contained was a photo of my bipolar orange cat, Nacho, and a simple sentence explaining that the blog was a work in progress. I would post outfit photos, One Direction photos, and display my horrible writing skills. My blog was very quiet, but it was my little diary.

I didn’t start blogging with more purpose or more regularly until I was 17. I had so many travel plans that I had to document, and I was in an intense college level English class and fell in love with longer essays and writing. I felt optimistic about my future.

But when the world shut down in 2020, all of my plans fell through, but I kept writing. It was my favorite hobby, something I took seriously and looked forward to doing every day. Blogging helped me get out of bed and motivated me to do things so I had more content to write about.

Entering college and battling depression made it difficult to write, and my blog has been a testament to my fluctuating drive. Since February, so much has happened that I didn’t get to share- some good, and some bad. I have had many learning experiences and lately my life has seemed to slow down in some areas and pick up in others.

In 2 weeks I will be returning to college after a semester and summer long break, and figuring out finances as well as classes that will transfer has been stressful. I think I got it figured out though, and I am optimistic that my short schedule will be better for my mental health, alongside therapy which I have been attending since December.

Picking up the pieces of my past self has been difficult, I wonder why I did the things that I did and why I let myself slip into derealization for so long. I often wonder what happened between the ages of 18 to 21 that was so damaging.

I don’t even remember being 19 or 20, I feel like those years slipped away. And sometimes I wonder if I am actually doing any better than I was, but my desire to continue college and to keep going through life after the actual events I’ve gone through in the beginning of this year tell me that I am.

8 Years ago I started writing in my online diary. Writing through my adolescence into adulthood is one of the things that I am proud of through it all. I get to read back on who I was, what I don’t remember.

While I would never choose to sleep on a futon as my bed again (I didn’t even sleep on it folded out I kept it as the couch!), I am happy to say that I will choose to come back to WordPress again and again. My reminder that my life is real, that others’ experiences are real, and that lifestyle and hobby blogging is still alive.

Here’s to 8 years since finding my creative outlet, how many years have you been writing or had a blog on WordPress? Let me know!