Dear Blog,

You are a project about my life that has helped me feel more complete and real than anything else. Yet, somehow I still feel as if there is a wall between us. Why do I feel like I need to dress you up, and make sure you don’t wear the same outfit too many times? I wear the same outfits all the time, I do the same things that bring me joy all the time, so why do I feel like I need to make you so different?

A filtered version of me, one that I wish I was. Even when I talk about my struggles, it is what I want you to hear; when I don’t want you listening in, I dissapear. When I do too much of the same thing, when I fall into a routine where not every week is a new, exciting, drama filled adventure, I feel like I can’t confide in you.

Let’s be real, you don’t have thousands of readers for each post, lifestyle blogs rarely get monetized, and that was never your goal in the first place, so why do I treat you like business blog owners treat theirs?

There is not enough exposure for lifestyle, diary blogs anymore. Blogging falls behind TikTok, Instagram, and private Snapchat stories. When I search “Lifestyle” in the Reader, it takes a lot of searching before the algorithm gives me something that is truly a Slice of Life. I value each and every one of the blogs I am subscribed to, I love reading about the “ordinary”, the special moments, and different outlooks on life. I’ve never wondered how many of a similar post someone has, nor do I care. I enjoy reading about everything.

So why do I care? Why do I filter you when what our small niche community needs is unfiltered thoughts and emotions? Why don’t I fill you with repetition, things that I do all the time that bring me joy, the hobbies and lifestyle and habits that only I have?

You have been so helpful in practicing my long form writing outside of classes, rereading and adjusting sentence structure while keeping a personal tone. You have been helpful in trying out different types of posts, like music, shows, lists, and how-tos. But why do I feel unaccomplished if a post is under a thousand words? Why is it that if I don’t have a lot to say, I shouldn’t say it at all?

Of course you cannot answer all of these questions I am throwing at you. Because Blog, you are a reflection of myself. A reflection of the criticism, of the insecurities, my dreams, and my memories.

I release you from expectations, doubt, and worries. I can feed you with whatever I want, and it will nourish you. I can post only photos, or just one giant block of text. I release you from anything I deem “not good enough”.

I reclaim you as myself, not a wishful reflection, but a true creative outlet.

-Katelyn